They LOVE me

This could be a long and complex post. I'll try to keep it simple, but I make no promises.

See, I was cast (without having to audition) to be part of the public play readings for the Tennessee Stage Company's New Play Festival.

(I used to be on the Board of Directors for the Tennessee Stage Company. I had to quit when I got too dang busy with the magazine writing thang.)

I am taking part in the public readings of two plays. One is a drama. One is a comedy with great potential.

Notice how I didn't say the drama has great potential?

Anyway, at the only "rehearsal" of the comedy-with-potential, I was cast as the nosy neighbor, even though I *really* wanted the part of one of the sweet little old ladies.

Dang it. I *knew* I was going to get that silly role. I *never* get the part I really want.

Anyway, while the other actors were reading Act I, Scene 1, I sat there and tried to come up with ways to tolerate the role I'd been given. Once they finally got around to my first scene, I had it: Ham it up.

Dang it. Hamming it up is so pedestrian.

But dang it, it's also incredibly reliable.

The playwright had given me a little bit to work with. All I had to do was throw in a weird voice, a funny accent, and some emphasis on my character's psychological instability to turn a standard, throwaway nosy neighbor into a Tour De Force.

Within three sentences, I knew I never had a chance at getting promoted to a Little Old Lady.

I was killing the other actors. At the *rehearsal*. Every one of my words was *golden*. I kept having to pause to allow people to guffaw at length, wipe their eyes, and get quiet, before I could deliver another line in a stupid voice and wait for them to guffaw, wipe their eyes, and calm down *again*.

Dang it.

I am way too good at making a role my own.

So tonight, we read that comedy-with-potential in public, and predictably, the audience of four adored me. Yeah, I said four. I thought about lying about our potential drawing power for a New Play Festival, but I'll be honest. We were reading in a Knox County public library, and we only had four people there. Actually five, but I don't count my own son Woodrow. There was one stray lady, one wife of an actor in the reading, and a librarian and her husband in attendance.

With great luck, they all loved the play and wanted to know why it wasn't being produced yet.

(I agree with them. All we need to do is some serious trimming, and this baby would be ready for the stage. Seriously. And I happen to know the playwright is easy to work with, so I'm not sure why this play isn't already on the front burner for full production.)

Here's the really satisfying part, though. After the reading, and after the audience gave its "feedback" on the play, as we were leaving, I was waylaid by every single member of the audience, all of whom were eager to tell me how fabulous I was and a bright, shining beacon of fabulosity in the play.

Dang. I do love applause, even if it's just mental.

I don't know how many times I said "thank you." The wife-of-an-actor also grabbed me and told me I was brilliant, and I confessed to her that I didn't even *want* the part I'd been given. She asked me which part I wanted, and then she and her actor-husband both cried that I was too perfect for the role I was in.

I guess... OK, I guess what bothers me about that is... I *invented* my bit-part character. What I did with her wasn't written into the script; I *made* her fun. If I had been given a shot at a little old lady, that role would have been as indelibly mine as this bit part is. They just don't know it because they don't have a chance to hear me read it.

That's why I like auditions. It gives me a chance to show what I can do.

But now the big problem is that I am addicted to this adoration. I love that the audience loves me in the bit part. Yes, I made it more magnificent than it was written. Yes, I made it mine. But honestly, why shouldn't I? It isn't as if I'll get an opportunity to do the sweet little old lady. And in the meantime, I'm upstaging the daylights out of her and almost everyone else in the play -- with the director's blessing.

Is that tweaked or what?

Eh, I don't care. More applause, please.

Nightmares for the new year

Here's a new nightmare:

I was taking a power-nap on the couch before my husband got home. About fifteen minutes into the nap, I dreamt I was updating my iPod Nano.

Now, keep in mind that I have been waging a constant war with Apple over the workings of my son's second-generation iPod Shuffle since Christmas Eve, but I've had only minor problems with my bought-from-the-refurbished-store Nano.

In my dream, I updated my Nano, and the moment the screen said my update was complete, I yanked the cord out of the USB port.

Thereupon, I sat up on the couch, absolutely certain that I had irrevocably wrecked my Nano, because you're not supposed to unplug it without first "ejecting" it.

It actually took me a few seconds to realize that it was all a dream. I didn't really wreck my Nano.

Stupid technology! It makes me look bad. On a daily basis.

Knoxville, YEAH!!!

What's playing on the iPod right now: "9 Crimes" by Damien Rice

I found out Friday that Club Scrap is bringing a Rolling Retreat right here to the heart of East Tennessee. I'm not sure if I'm even supposed to say so in a public place, but -- YEAH!!!!!! Club Scrap Retreat!!!!!! Knoxville!!!!!

I.

Am.

SO.

THERE!!!!

I've been to two Main Retreats in Wisconsin. They rock. They're nothing like "normal" scrapbook events -- for one thing, they don't really focus on scrapbooking. It's papercrafting at its best. I always learn so much more than normal cropping techniques.

Secondly, Club Scrap really knows how to spoil a girl. From fabulous receptions to champagne shopping, from incredible classes to amazing demos, and from wonderful meals to scrumptious gifts, Club Scrap Retreats really don't resemble "normal" crafting weekends.

Also, I'm really hoping that either Tricia or Terri will make it to this Retreat. Tricia -- I can't say enough good things about her. Sure, she's a former Miss Wisconsin America. Sure, she won the talent portion of the nat'l pageant. But honestly, she's a wonderful person as well as being totally gorgeous.

And Terri? Terri Zwicker is my crafting goddess. I want to be Terri if I ever grow up. The thing is, Terri never grew up!

They're both my bestest friends in different ways, and I haven't seen either of them since August, 2005. I miss them! I hope one or both of them make it to the Knoxville Retreat -- that would be the *coolest*.

In the meantime, I invited one of Wesley's co-workers, a young girl named Carrie who's only 22 years old and a totally hooked scrapbooker to the Retreat. I talked to her tonight, and she is soooooo excited! That's so much fun! I don't even scrapbook these days, but it's so nice just to talk to someone who still gets excited about luxurious 80-lb. cardstock!

(I gave Carrie a bunch of one of my Club Scrap kits in September -- and she said on the phone tonight, "I loved that Club Scrap stuff you gave me last year! It's the BEST!" That kind of enthusiasm for my favorite scrapbooking supply company just makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over.)

OH! And! Furthermore! I think Wesley and I are going to get a hotel room at the Knoxville Hilton for the weekend. That way, I won't have to start driving at 6:45 in the morning to make it to the Retreat in time for the morning classes, and ... it'll be a grown-ups' weekend out. COOL!

Excellent news, any way you look at it. Come to Knoxville! Hang out at the Retreat! I would love to meet more CS freaks and aficionados!

(P.S. -- Playing on the iPod by the time I finished typing: "Loser" by Beck)

Greedy beader

What's playing on the iPod right now? "Be Be Your Love" by Rachael Yamagata.

I couldn't resist.

The moment I received this month's kit from Club Scrap -- a theme beautifully named "Fizz" -- I dived right in and started playing with it.

The thing is, it's so black and white and pink and perfectly girlie, I had to use it with last month's Club Stamp "Stamper's Project," the "purse pendant" kit. That project came with the gorgeous and elegant Ivory Elegance theme, which was all ivory and rich browns and golds. But ... I looked at Fizz, and I looked at the purse pendant project, and I just knew they belonged together.

It reminds me of a Judy Blume book. Which one was it that took place in the forties or fifties? The protagonist's family moved to Miami, and her mother took one look at the pink, black, and white tiled bathroom and declared, "It looks like a bordello." I had to look up the word "bordello." Hey, I was 11. Cut me some slack.

My Fizzy purse pendant, of course, does not look like a bordello -- it looks like a fabulous girlie thing. I'm so happy with it! Beads! Stamping! Paper! What else does a girl need?

More beads, right? Yeah -- I'm a greedy beader.

Test

I've never made these things work, but here goes nothing....


Your results:
You are Mystique

Mystique 92% Poison Ivy 83% Apocalypse 81% Catwoman 81% Dark Phoenix 72% Magneto 72% Dr. Doom 66% Riddler 61% Lex Luthor 61% Venom 54% Juggernaut 52% The Joker 48% Two-Face 40% Kingpin 39% Mr. Freeze 26% Green Goblin 24%

Sometimes motherly, sometimes a beautiful companion, but most of the time a deceiving vixen.

Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...

Can't stay

What's playing on the iPod right now: "Stay" by Sarah Bettens

It's January 2nd -- well, really, it's the 3rd now -- and I have spent 50% of my Christmas moolah. I was extraordinarily lucky this year. Even thought I am tired of Christmas and really want to just skip it for the next six years or so, I have a generous sister (and a surprisingly generous MIL), and they gave me a ton of moolah for spending. WOOO HOOO!!!!! I love shopping.

So far, I've purchased a pair of winter Crocs, some songs on iTunes (even though I hate Apple service and wish I could figure out how to boycott them because they're so awful in terms of customer service), and some lovely glass beads. Yay! Crocs and music and glass beads -- what else does a girl need?

Chocolate? Oh, yeah, I got chocolate for Christmas.

Anyway, most of the music I bought from iTunes reminds me of summertime. "Stay," for instance -- the first time I heard it, we were on vacation in South Carolina. It was an incredibly hot, humid, August day on Edisto Island, and we were driving around after dinner when it came on the really good radio station from Hilton Head. (I never want to stay on Hilton Head, but I do like the radio station!) I can't believe that's been more than a year ago. Summer lasts forever in my head and scrapbook. Thank heaven for photos! I can actually picture the house, the marsh, the roads, and the sweltering summer heat. Time flies when you're ... not on vacation.

Here's to 2007. I know it won't stick around any longer than 2005 or 2006 did. I'll find new musicians to adore. Maybe Rachael Yamagata will release a new album. (Please, lord, please let Rachael thrive.) I'll make more stuff covered with beads (thanks to my Christmas moolah!) and maybe I'll even get back into scrapbooking. (Don't hold your breath.) I'm not giving up on crafts... I'm just giving up on magazines with a brain.

And... I'm sorry; I can't stay. I have so much to do! I was cast in the readings of the plays for the Tennessee Stage Company's New Play Festival. Thank heaven! It was definitely time to do something theatrical again. I love applause!