Plan:
The Petcast studio recording 9:00 to 11:00
BagelMania for brunch
The pool in the afternoon
"The Producers" at 6:00
Mon Ami Gabi at 8:15

Actual:
I woke up Saturday morning, and bluebirds landed on my shoulder and fawns came to the window to greet me, and Leon wiggled with glee to say good morning, and of course, Amy started the coffee maker. She has the fanciest coffee maker -- it grinds the beans and then makes the coffee, all in one swoop. And she made really good coffee! (Note to self: Starbucks Tanzania beans -- yummers!)

I took my coffee outside to the patio. I wish I had gotten some pictures of the patio. It's covered, and Amy has a lovely glass-top table out there. There are also some dials and things on the walls to tell you the time, the temperature and the humidity. ROFL -- humidity in the desert! Amy and Paul joined me very soon, and we watched hummingbirds and chatted for a while. Amy offered me a NutriSystem cranberry granola bar, and it was delicious. Diet food has come a long way, baby!

Then I went inside, showered, and put velcro rollers in my hair, hoping it would get big and poofy. It got big for a little while. I put on make-up, and got dressed in my favorite new outfit. The jeans are made out of the softest buttery-feeling pre-washed denim-type cotton. The tank top graduates in shades of blue from dark to light. And there are beads around the neckline. Then a white crocheted top goes on over that. I love that outfit. It makes me feel skinny and chic, even though I am neither.

Amy and I left for the studio insanely early, and we got there before Steve, so we stood outside in the shade of a scraggly pine tree and smoked a cigarette while we waited for Steve.

I was already learning about the desert in June -- it is really crazy hot there this time of year, and this isn't even the hottest month. July and August are supposed to be hotter. I don't know if Amy knows this, but I spent a good bit of time on this trip standing in shade and sticking my hand out into the sun to *feel* the difference in temperature. The shade is at least 10 degrees cooler than the direct sunlight. Weird!!!!! And cool!!!!!!! Well, I mean, *hot*, not cool. I mean, shade feels cool in Tennessee, too, but the sheer *volume* of difference between shade and sun in Las Vegas is *way* more dramatic.

Also, the studio parking lot was pretty close to the Stratosphere, and I watched the rides up there in motion. It wasn't even 9:00 in the morning, and people were already riding the rides. Weirdness! Las Vegas surely wakes up early for a place that's called "Sin City"!!!

Then Steve came, and I got to hug him. It's Steve! Steve Friess! AP writer extraordinaire and podcaster god! He is *so* cute in real life, and so animated and adorable. We went upstairs and into the studio where I met Jimmy, the owner of the studio and the engineer of many of Steve & Miles' shows.

'Kay, I'll be honest about the studio. It's a little... well... polite little middle-class chicks like me are probably not the most common visitors in this place. I think most of the shows that tape there are about porn, strippers, and, uh, more porn. And strippers like to leave their pictures and things lying around. Steve even noted at the end of the taping that Jimmy must have removed the red white and blue butt plug. I'm so glad. I didn't need to see a patriotic, er, adult toy.

We talked about the show notes -- Steve's notes are a work of art, complete with articles and pictures to back up what's going to be discussed -- and we decided that I would get to take part in the show at the beginning rather than at the end. The first show had topics that really interested me, like how chickens are being kept as pets. Hey, I live in the boonies -- pet chickens are not uncommon here at all! But I draw the line at using the eggs of pet chickens, as some city folk are doing. Amy coined the phrase "pets with benefits," which just cracked me up.

In the middle of that first show, I started wanting to sneeze. I was allergic to something in Nevada, and it was driving me crazy. I sorta halfway participated in the second show, but Jimmy turned off my mic and I stopped participating after that. I was doing back-up -- when Amy had a question about something, she wrote me a note and I got on the internet and looked up the answer for her. So she could go on and ask the guest an intelligent question.

The whole taping was weird and cool -- I really don't like getting that close to a microphone, so whenever the shows come out, I'll be the faintest voice in the studio. Jimmy fussed at me -- gently, but pointedly -- about that. But it was really nice to meet Jimmy and of course Steve -- I've been listening to The Strip for more than a year, and I've been on the Petcast a few times, and it's great to be in the actual studio. Jimmy is the *best*. Even if he does have porn shows taped in his studio.

The two hours of taping was over in no time flat, and just in time, because I really needed to sneeze. We went outside; I sneezed, then we followed Steve to BagelMania.

Ahhhhhhhhh, BagelMania. OMG, I finally found a bread source west of the Colorado River that tastes like bread! They must use bottled water or something.

Steve turned into the quintessential Jewish mother and ordered a ton of Jewish food for us to try. I have never had most of those things you hear about -- knish, bialy, latkes, I can't remember it all. There were two sweet things, rugalach and a "black and white." The rest of the things were savory and delicious. I got a sesame bagel for myself, and it was divine. You *really* cannot get a decent sesame bagel in Tennessee, and every time I have a real one, the difference strikes me all over again.

And Miles joined us for this meal.

Miles. My Miles.

I can be honest with y'all. I took one look at Miles and fell head over heels. He's a little bit sarcastic, has a touch of attitude, and he's got these gorgeous, dramatic, deep, penetrating eyes. Miles is a hottie. This is the first gay man I've met since I met Chad that I just looked at and *knew* he was my kind of fabulous gay boy. We clicked immediately. And I ... just can't say why or how or what we talked about, because it was *so* fast, and my head was reeling with massive amounts of adoration for Miles.

That's the kind of guy Miles is -- *my* kind of guy. Rapturous sigh!!!! I'm so glad there are people like him in the world.

I only wish we could have hung out together more and longer. I'm not the only person who thinks he's the bomb. His employers are well aware of Miles' fabulosity! But that also means that Miles works ... a ... *lot*. So I just have to be happy to know that he's out there somewhere.

Oh, also! He actually came over to my chair and taught me how to send text messages from my cell phone. ROFL!!!! That's a long story, and I'll tell it some other time. I don't really "get" text messaging, but Miles and Steve are big on sending text messages.

And! Furthermore! With my allergies and sinuses acting up so badly, at one point during the meal, I snorted. BADLY. I can't describe this snort, but my sinuses locked up and made this god-awful loud noise, and I could have absolutely died from embarrassment. I was dying, and I said something like, "Oh, my gah, I am so embarrassed," and Miles said, "Oh, stop. You are fabulous." And the strange thing is... I think he actually *meant* it.

I love that boy!!!!

OK, I have to stop ranting and raving -- but I loved Miles to death, and I just wanted to try to communicate that adoration in some small way.

So Amy and I drove away from BagelMania. It's hard to describe, but I really am getting more accustomed to Las Vegas and where everything is. BagelMania is somewhere in the southeast corner. Amy's house is in the northwest corner. It took us a little while, but we did get back to her house, and the views were stunning as we drove. Saturday's weather was incredibly clear and beautiful, and I kept telling Yamy that I don't know how she drives without getting into a wreck from looking at the mountains. The air seemed crystal clear, and those mountains appeared as if they were right next to us. Gorgeous!

Back at Yamy's house, I washed my face, pinned up my hair, put on my swimsuit... and *ran* to the pool! This was the afternoon that was the *most* frivolous and ridiculous while Amy and I played in the swimming pool. I don't remember what made me laugh so hard, but I was constantly laughing, holding my sides, and thinking that if i fell off the raft, I would surely drown.

I also spent a lot of time saying that I never thought I would be *that* chick -- you know, the one who has her hair pinned up and is stretching her neck to keep her head out of the water. We used to see *those chicks* at the public swimming pools. And as a kid, I always thought, "How crazy. Pools are for swimming. Get your head wet!" Now I get it. They probably just got their hair colored red-brown.

In between dips in the pool, I would get out and sit under the shade of the covered patio, smoking a bit and drinking Coke Zero. This is the trip that got me switched over to Coke Zero, a beverage I have resisted. It still doesn't taste exactly like *real* Coke, but it's close enough, and if you drink it fast enough, it doesn't have time to go flat.

The desert is really very different from the humid South. You get into a pool, get wet, and get out. Then the completely arid desert air starts to blow over you, and it's so cool and lovely, it's quite deceptive. You can be quite comfortable in your wet swimsuit for about twenty minutes before it starts to feel warm again, at which time you get back into the pool and start the cooling process all over again.

Also, Amy had bought the *best* sunscreen that really does spray all over you. I could cover my entire self -- including my back -- without assistance. Still, I didn't want to just *soak* up the sun, and I was quite conscious of getting out of the UV rays on a regular basis. I don't want to get burned, after all! I have my alabaster, fair skin to think of, after all.

(Honestly? I am so vain about my skin. I've been getting compliments on my pale, pale, alabaster skin for decades now, and I don't want to risk a freckle or a tan on this glorious complexion of mine. Isn't that vain? Yes, it is. Next week, I'll tell you about fond I am of my perfect, fair, beautiful hands and how I should have been a hands model.)

All too soon, it was time to get out of that glorious swimming pool to get ready for the evening. I could have happily stayed in the back yard for hours more! But there was a play to see and a fancy meal to be eaten. The evening called!