How I defy authority (politely)

Finally, being a middle-aged mama is starting to pay off.

Saturday morning, I took Emily to work as usual. I use old country roads for most of this route; I could use a highway or an interstate, but the traffic and scenery are better in the boonies, y'know. One part of my route is real and old, very curvy and narrow. Another part is a newish road that has been built in anticipation of a "business park" being here someday. (Is "business" doublespeak for "industrial"? I don't know, but I hope it's business and not industrial.) Anyway, that newer road is straight, smooth, wide, has inoperative street lamps and a black rail fence running the length of it. It's probably a mile or two long; I've never measured it.

On my way home from dropping Em off, I turned right onto this "business park" road. Waaaaaaaaay back in the distance, I could see a car coming. I have only seen two other cars on this road all spring. It bummed me out, because it meant I couldn't go as slowly as I usually like to go on this road. It's a pretty road. Wildflowers. Trees. Fire ant hills and possums. Y'know. Pretty.

So I'm driving along, and I glance in my rearview mirror, and the car that had been waaaaaaaaaaaay behind me when I turned on the road was now filling up my mirror. He was *right* on my tail. I sped up a little to get him off my bumper. He sped up. I sped up a little more. Next thing I knew, I was doing 50 mph. Now, it was a straight road and there is no posted speed limit, but I was a very unhappy camper.

I stopped at one stop sign, wondering how I was going to get this guy off my tail, when I realized -- this is the boonies. I can just pull over to the right and wave him around me. So before I got to the next stop sign where I would need to turn left onto the real country road, I pulled off onto the shoulder and waved at him. He didn't move. I rolled my window down, stuck my hand out, and waved at him again.

So he pulled up next to me, and this is when I realized, "Oh, heck, this guy is a cop." He's not a REAL cop. He has a white car with "Drug Task Force" painted on the side. There are other slogans like "Stop Violent Crime" and "Just Say No." But he doesn't have bubble lights on top of his car. I mean, I didn't *know* he was an authority figure just from watching him crawl up my tailpipe.

Hoooo, boy. I got a mini cop.

And he was annoyed.

When he was next to my car, he stopped and rolled down his passenger window to holler at me, "Is there a problem?"

And I said, "No, sir, I'm sorry, I just felt you were following me too closely and wanted to go faster than I did. I want to go slower, so I thought the polite thing to do would be to let you get past me."

He raised his eyebrows at me and ground out between clenched teeth, "I thought YOU were going too fast back there."

And I couldn't help it. I couldn't. I know I'm bad, but I just couldn't help it. I laughed.

I laughed at a mini cop.

I laughed and I said, "I was only trying to give you some space!"

He rolled his eyes and snorted, but he drove around me and went on his way. He probably *couldn't* give me a ticket. His car didn't have bubble lights, and he wasn't wearing a uniform -- just a plaid shirt and a baseball cap -- so it's not like he was a *real* cop.

So what do you think? Why didn't Officer Leadfoot give me a speeding ticket? Was it because I told him he was going too fast, or was it because he couldn't?