The Croc Market Report

It's a bull market, investors, and we give this Croc Stock our highest rating. Invest now! Invest later! It doesn't matter; these shoes ROCK!!!!!

Seriously, I tested the new coral-pink Crocs with a grueling 7-hour shift, during which I got only one 15-minute break after only an hour and a half into my shift. That means that I stood for at least 4.5 hours without a break. Seriously -- no breaks, none at all, not even to visit the loo. The closest I came to sitting down was kneeling to pull trash out from under the magazine rack behind my cash register.

Now, after a while, my feet *did* hurt. That was inevitable with this kind of work, but the truest test of the Crocs was... my BACK didn't hurt!!!! It really didn't!!!!!!!! When I got home I realized, "Hey, I don't have to take Vicoden for my back." That's a first!!!!!!!!

The store manager even called me, "Pink Shoes." As in, "Hey, Pink Shoes, how ya doin'?" He didn't mean it in a derogatory way, either, like, "Hey, Pink Shoes, I'm going to fire you because you're not wearing brown leather shoes." He meant it as a compliment, a sort of, "What fun shoes you're wearing, you nut job," kind of way!

In other news, I didn't quit my job. LOL! You may be wondering why I even said that, but honestly, even with the Crocs firmly on my feet, I really thought I would give notice today. I am soooooooo poorly suited to real-world jobs, and the grocery store is nothing short of manual labor. Did I go to to college for *this*?????

I fear I am *exactly* the kind of spoiled, high-maintenance, hothouse flower that I always thought I might be. So I really thought I would quit today. But Wesley talked me out of it, reminding me that "I am the grown-up" and "Disney World" really are my catchphrases of the seasons.

Man, I *hate* it when he's all logical and reasonable like that!

Unfortunately, I'm working ten hours Saturday. I wasn't supposed to. I was supposed to work six hours. (And I was so relieved to get such a short shift!) But a teenaged cashier forgot to ask for that day off so she could take the ACT. How on *earth* can I be the person responsible for denying a young person her shot at a college education? I can't!!!

Therefore, I shall work. My Crocs will give me strength. And I *swear* I'm going to be more forthcoming about, "Hey, managers, I need a break... NOW."

Besides, I am meeting the *most* interesting and wonderful people at the grocery store. The customers are sooooo interesting!! That part is fun, even when my feet are complaining *loudly*.