Sniffle & sob

Oooo, today was quite a day. The first part was rather ordinary -- algebra and homeschooling and drinking coffee and such -- but the second half was downright extraordinary.

Wesley and I went on a date. Movies and dinner. It was veddy, veddy nice to put on make-up and get out of the house for a while. The movie, unfortunately, was not the best choice. I had been slobbering to see "The Lake House," because I was laboring under the misconception that it would be a good, romantic movie. I wasn't sure if it was a romantic comedy -- my favorite genre -- but I thought it would at least be pretty good. I like Sandra Bullock, after all, and sometimes Keanu Reeves isn't too horrid.

Oh. Wow. Y'all, you need to run out not to see this movie. You can wait until it's on HBO. Don't even rent the DVD; that's a waste of moolah. This flick has holes big enough to drive a truck through -- no, a whole *convoy* of trucks. And worst of all -- WORST of ALL --

They used fake plastic tree branches instead of a real maple branch. Those fake plastic leaves weren't even remotely maple-shaped. This is a movie with a budget so big it could afford Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock, but they couldn't even pop for a couple of maple sprigs? Oy, vey!!

There were other significant problems with the flick, but the maple tree thing is symbolic of the whole series of problems that this script presented. It could have been good. Goodness knows they had a good cast and good basic premise. The entire rest of the movie just couldn't deliver... mostly because whoever was dressing the set couldn't figure out what maple leaves really look like.

The dog was *excellent* casting.

So that was the movie portion of the date. Then we moved on to dinner at the Bonefish Grill. I recently read a survey which named Bonefish Grill in the top 10 restaurants from the entire country. (Obviously, they meant franchises and chains. The Bonefish Grill ranked higher than P.F. Changs, and y'all know how much I love P.F. Changs!)

The cosmopolitan was *wonderful*. The crabcakes appetizer -- with a wasabi sauce that was out of this world - was divine. The citrus herb vinaigrette on the house salad was incredible. The bread with the olive oil dipping sauce was magnificent.

Then I got the entree.

*Ugh*.

I don't think I'll ever order swordfish again, much less swordfish with bacon, gorgonzola, and some strange sauce. I like bacon, I like cheese, and I like sauce. I even like swordfish. Put them all together, and no, I do not like them, Sam I Am. I do not like green eggs and ham!

Wesley suggested we swap entrees, so I tried his cedar-plank salmon. Ugh. I didn't like *it*, either!!!!! The cedar was entirely too charred and the whole thing tasted burnt as a result.

I sent my entree back to the kitchen. Wesley kind of turned green, because we were paying $21 for an entree that I was rejecting in its entirety based solely on my tastes. There was nothing *wrong* with the swordfish. I just didn't like it. He thought maybe we should get it boxed and take it home to the kids, and I said, "No, honey, the kids will not eat that stuff. Trust me."

The manager came out and asked me what was wrong with the entree, and I confessed that there was nothing wrong, it was exactly what I ordered and was probably perfectly prepared. I wouldn't know how perfectly prepared it was, though, because I just didn't like it.

He was really, *really* nice and took the entree off our bill. He really didn't have to -- there was nothing wrong with the dish. (OK, I also didn't like the over-cooked zucchini or the watery mashed potatoes, but.... y'know. WhatEV. The veggies weren't the expensive part of the meal.)

Wesley wiped the sweat off his brow, and he finished his stinky salmon. I don't know what side dish he got.

And the thing is -- I would go back to the Bonefish Grill. I would! Those crabcakes were the stuff that dreams are made of! The salad with the citrus herb vinaigrette was yummy!!!! The bread was really good!!!! Next time I'll try the chicken or the pork chops or the filet mignon, and maybe one of *those* dishes will be more to my liking.

That was just the first part of the evening.

When I got home, I had to do laundry, organize the kids, and call Disney.

What's that? Yes, I called Disney World!!!!!! We're going at the end of September, and we had some questions about our billing. (Long story, too long to post here, but basically, if you're going to WDW and you made your reservations on the Internet -- although technically we didn't -- you can't pay the balance before you get to WDW.) (Trust me on this.)

So, Wesley and Woodrow and I lit a mosquito lamp and took to the porch. I dialed up WDW, and waited through the automated operator system to get a real, live person.

At the last part of the automated operator system, I was put on hold. And then I got the music.

You know the music? Whenever someone puts you on hold, you get music?

Well, when you call Walt Disney World, you get Disney music. And this time, I got Sarah MacLachlan's immortal and sublime "When She Loved Me" from Toy Story 2.

Aaaaaaaaeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"When She Loved Me" is the saddest song in the Disney catalog. It's sadder than "Baby Mine" from Dumbo, and Dumbo was released in 1941, back when people really knew how to write sad songs.

Now, I am always darned near crying over Disney music anyway, but the two songs most guaranteed to make me bawl my eyes out *immediately* are "Baby Mine" and "When She Loved Me."

And here's that number one, most-likely-to-induce-sobs song, "When She Loved Me."

So within about four words on the phone, I was tearing up and crying. Another six words, and I was actively crying out loud. Wesley and Woodrow were both very anxious to know why I was crying so darned hard, and I choked out, "Sarah MacLach--- sob! -- lan! When She -- sniffle! -- Loved Me!!!! snort, sob!"

Wesley laughed out loud.

Woodrow groaned and threw his hands up in the air.

All I could think was, "If Mama had ever heard this song, she wouldn't have made me sing 'Danny Boy,' she would have made me listen to 'When She Loved Me'!"

[True story: My mother thought the most hilarious thing in the world was making me try to sing "Danny Boy" without breaking down in tears. I never did it before she died. And she always thought it was completely hilarious.]

I listened to all of "When She Loved Me" and cried through the whole thing. And then -- and then! -- the Disney rep answered the phone.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

Here I was, sniffling and sobbing over such a pretty song, and now I'm s'posed to be coherent and smart enough to ask intelligent questions?

I reiterate -- ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I pulled myself together and *told* the rep why I was crying. His name was Milton, and he said he totally understood. I love Disney cast members. Most of them really *get it*.

I did manage to ask him my stupid Q's, and he did answer them. But man, the minute I was off the phone, I was crying again, and Wesley was laughing again, and Woodrow was disgusted with me again.

Just another manic Monday -- right?

Sniffle!!!!!!!